Wine Appreciation 101 for 5 year olds

Vaughn is now in his second session of Tae Kwon Do, begrudgingly, with the carrot of Legos being dangled in front of him once again to entice him to behave himself and grin and bear it. These classes are costing me on average about $60 for 6 classes, figuring in the cost of Legos. Oh, but one day he'll say, "Mom, Dad, now that I'm Tae Kwon Do World Champion, I am so grateful to you for insisting that I stick with it, even though I hated every minute of it. I love you." Yeah, well, something like that. We finally forced him to wear the uniform. He looks wicked cute in it, but as he puts it "It embarrasses me." It isn't quite up to his fussy fashion standards. "It looks stupid." Yes, unlike the Spiderman goggle/mask and flipper hands you wear around the playground when you're not even swimming. Tres chic.

Anyway, this time he's the experienced one in the class for once, with the rest being filled with newbies. Evidently, there are 5 others besides him, 4 of those lemonade aficionados and 1 alky. Allow me to elucidate: The teacher demonstrates the knife cut (I believe it is officially called???), and while the hand is in the extended position, one should be able to place a cup on the palm and then, of course, drink from it. Ummm. Teacher has lemonade in his cup. Vaughn, what do you have? "Ooo, I have lemonade, too," and so follow the rest of the class, until we come to our resident preschool alcoholic in pajamas coming late to class (evidently hungover) yelling enthusiastically, "I have wine!"

I guess he'll hit the hard stuff in kindergarten.