"I hate her."
"You hate who?"
"Martina McBride."
"What?"
"Martina McBride. She's on "The View." I mean, my God, she is 5 months postpartum and she has like 3 inches of space between her legs."
"She has space between her legs?"
"Yeah, you know. When her legs are together you can see through her legs. She has space between her legs. As in: You-could-watch-your-32-inch-TV-between-her-legs space."
"Oh. I guess I never paid attention as to whether women had space between their legs."
"Only the ones who don't eat."
"Huh."
"I mean, 5 months postpartum?! I'm almost 4 YEARS postpartum and rice paper wouldn't fit between my legs. I ADDED 3 inches to my thighs, EACH, when I was pregnant. What?! Did she not gain any weight when she was pregnant? I'm just relieved that the last few months of my pregnancy were in the winter rather than during fire season, there was so much friction. Disgusting. 5 MONTHS POSTPARTUM!!"
"Well, Sweetie, you look good to me."
"Humph. I wonder if Denise Austin has space between her legs."
No comments:
Post a Comment