Doggie Depends

(By the way, Morgans, this is what our kitchen floor looked like after we ripped it up. This is the original linoleum.)

I have decided to do what I do best and procrastinate. Since it’s the weekend, and therefore, I’m working, and since the job of sitting in the vet’s waiting area for hours on end falls under the category of Mommy Duties, I’m waiting until Monday. In the interim, in one last ditch effort to prolong Pogisa's life span, I had Dave go out and purchase her some doggy diapers. We now have 2 living beings in our home that wear diapers (at least Vaughn's is just at night). This is truly desperation.

I remember seeing these diapers before we got the dog while we were shopping for puppy paraphernalia in preparing our nest for the arrival of our bouncy bundle of fur. They were in the "house training" section of Petco, and needless to say, these are what sprang into my mind last night in between death fantasies of Poe. (These fantasies ranged from the more humane just encouraging her to run away scenario, which wouldn’t work because she’s microchipped and forever bound to us by association, to playing ball on the busy boulevard that’s adjacent to our street, but then that would force me into the whole death controversy again with Vaughn.)

Dave bought the largest sized diapers Petco had (which look like preemie size), but we still had to add diaper pins in an effort to keep the things on because evidently large dogs don't have incontinence problems. I'm trying not to think about what a nut job I'm going to look like sitting with my diapered dog in the waiting area of the vet's office on Monday. (I wonder if these come in black, or maybe a leopard print.) I'm not sure who will be more embarrassed, me or the dog. She seems to have an unusually heightened sense of self-awareness and now walks around the house, diapered bum in tow, head hanging, looking like we have humiliated her beyond repair. I think it’s a good bet that this is not what the Dog Whisperer would recommend, and the minute he’s willing to come over and clean my floors, I’m all ears.