Toilette Etiquette

These are my 5-year-old son's rules of conduct for the disposal of human waste:

1. If you pee, there is no need to flush.
2. If you poop, theoretically, you should flush, if you remember (and in his case, he rarely does because the majority of the time he is peeing and, therefore, not getting into the habit of flushing).

First thing this morning we had an argument about flushing the toilet after he peed.

"You know, Vaughn, you should flush the toilet every time you go to the bathroom, even when you pee."

Vaughn crosses his arms and settles into a defiant stance, stocky little legs hip width apart, brow furrowed, bottom lip Angie Jolie'esqe.

"Vaughn, go flush the toilet."

"No."

"Go flush the toilet."

"No."

"GO FLUSH THE TOILET!"

"No."

Good Lord, I can't believe he's choosing this to rebel against.

"Do you need a time out?"

"No."

"Then go flush the toilet."

"Hrmph!" Off he goes to do the evidently distasteful deed of flushing his pee.

Is this some kind of Freudian thing, some marking of territory or something? As I recall my nephews were the same way. In their whole childhood years, I don't recall ever seeing a "fresh bowl" when they visited us, the concept of clear toilet water evidently being abhorrent to them.

To his credit, though, I have managed, for the most part, to train Vaughn to put the seat down, so at least then when I go to the bathroom I don't fall butt first into the disintegrating, unusually large turd floating in the toilet bowl that he forgot to flush, not to mention the leftover pee he, by principle, didn't flush. His future wife can thank me later.