Went to The Portland Music Awards show tonight. That was interesting, though in some ways typically Portland weird in an atypical Portland way. It seemed that the audience was, oddly, disproportionately country music fans. Either that, or as the announcer said, that particular demographic were a rowdy bunch. It also had the odd phenomenon of really attractive (well, that is subjective, but I suppose in music terms they were attractive), young looking women from the back, but then being unpleasantly shocked when they turned around and revealed heavily made-up middle-aged faces. Either that or they were 25-year-olds who had lived a hard life, which is also possible. (A friend told me that listening to Randy Travis for 2.5 minutes takes 6 weeks off of your life. "Yeah, I'm 25, but that's 45 in country years.") I was kept entertained before the program started, while I sat their waiting for Dave to bring back refreshments, by a row of about 6 women who plopped themselves in front of me and proceeded to busily iPhoto each other. The only thing I could really discern in the dim lighting was their clothing (which was tight, low-cut, and short), carefully coiffed hair, and incessant, excited chittering, all of which led me to conclude they were a bunch of 20-year-olds. I felt distinctly underdressed (turtleneck, jeans, and sweater coat because it was freaking cold, man!) and under-made-up. ("Need more eyeliner! STAT!") When my wasband (a phrase someone had used in my divorce support group. Ex still feels weird to say, so I'm trying stuff out), Dave, sat down, I asked him if I was that obnoxious when I was 20, at which point one of them turned around, and he whispered, "Huh, must me the mother." Later, they all got up, "Uh, no...It appears they are all 'the mother.'"
Anyway, the first 3 acts were really good. I had gone there with pretty low expectations because, beyond the jazz scene, I am pretty much ignorant as to the live music in town and just assume all of it is crap. The opener was the Gay Men's Choir, which, predictably, did a Queen medley, and then opened the ceremonies with a variation on the Muppet Theme. I've never heard them before, but it was quite entertaining. Reminded me a lot of the type of music you find on the show
Glee. The next group was http://www.myspace.com/crownpointmusic. They were rocking and worth going out to see in the future. Good stage presence and energy. The second group they threw in to fill some time, supposedly, http://www.reverbnation.com/dpdelaneyandparis. They were hilarious! You really miss some of it when you don't see the performance. They performed
Stop Staring at My Tits, (which I got a kick out of the line about the turtleneck being there to "serve and protect"). The little blond chick was instrumentless, so she did all the miming, which was spot on. They also did
I Want To Have Penis, which again, the blond chick's pantomiming brought it home. Damn. I can't find any video of them. I'm kicking myself for not videoing it. They allowed videoing and photos. Ah, well.
After that, it kind of deteriorated. I was hoping to see a jazz performance, but alas no. However, there was no country performance, so I guess it was worth the sacrifice. Most of what followed after that would put you to sleep (folkish). There was one act that before they were done performing, people were clapping, like those odd places at the symphony when there is a pause or a seeming conclusion, and the audience mistakes it for the end of the movement and starts applauding. However, in this case, I think it was more like, "Yeah. Okay. Good. We get the idea. End it there. Yes. Thank you very much. We've had enough now." I think they should look into marketing their music for insomniacs.
Oh, but we're not done yet! My absolute favorite was Reva Devito http://www.revadevito.com/#!listen. She performed
Boogie, which was HOT. Very nouveau disco and great stage presence. She sounds better live, largely due to her tight band. The sample on her website seems to really lack energy. It's weird. It's like it's kind of disjointed and lacks groove. Anyway, going to definitely hunt down future performances of hers. It was very contagious, which, I have to agree with the announcer when he wondered how people could have sat in their seats through that whole song. This was a weird audience. The bulk of them hovered in the back where the bar was. They never got around to dancing until freakishly tall Miss Oregon (6'3" plus wearing 3-inch heels plus another 2-3 inches of crown) started dancing on the performance of Roger Fisher http://www.rogerfisher.com/, who also happened to be one of the presenters earlier. Man, talk about a cliche. He was so lecherous with his female co-presenter it was making ME uncomfortable FOR her. Did not know the meaning of personal space. He actually said in one of his vocal "riffs" when he was performing, "Baby, my heart is in you, my soul is in you...mmmmmm...When we make love." Well, among other less poetic things being "in you." *groan* I lost count of how many times I said to Dave, "I soooo want to slap him." It quickly plummeted into bad '80s rock after that. One of the performers didn't make it, so they improvised with their "all stars," which consisted of 1 drummer, 1 bass player, and a fuckload of electric guitarists (Roger Fisher and Tommy Tutone being among them). The one rule of power rock music is there is no such thing as too many guitarists. Lord. We left in the middle of it. It was also at that point people were finally drunk enough and the music was loud enough that they felt uninhibited enough to dance. It was like watching a bad 80s Night of the Heavily Madeup, Forever-21 clad Living Dead movie. Brrrrrr...
I'm totally going again next year.
